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  • Pamela Hatheway

Create your Ideal Home

“The home is the centre and circumference, the start and the finish of most of our lives.”

--Charlotte Perkins Gilman





Our homes are a visible manifestation of our inward world. Because of this, we need to fill them with things that are soul building. To paraphrase Marie Kondo, keep only those things that speak to our hearts or bring us joy. Get rid of the rest. Why keep items that we do not love, that fill us with happiness?


It was only about ten years ago when I sat down and really made a list of things that made me happy. White towels and hand embroidered pillow slips, country cottage gardens, fresh herbs in my food and my bath, a cat to greet me when I came in the door. I love flowing boho style clothes, particularly linen with big chunky silver jewelry. I love women with long gray hair and heavy makeup, I love family dinners and hiking through wooded paths.


Most of these things I already had, it was a matter of ridding myself of the things that didn’t match that vision. I am sure you have all heard of the story of Michelangelo carving the famous statue of David. He said David was in the block of marble all of the time, he just removed everything that wasn’t David.


Our ideal home is there, we have been living in it, we just need to remove everything that isn’t.

In my closet I had clothes that I hadn’t worn in years, but kept because they were expensive. They may have been me years ago, but not the me that I present to the world today. I don’t feel comfortable, or empowered. I believe authenticity enhances personal power. We reflect who we are on the inside through our clothes, and ultimately our home.


I love old mismatched china, (think Rachel Ashwell, Shabby Chic) yet, my cupboards were full of unattractive dishes from the 90’s supermarket sales. Why? When the kids were little, perhaps I was worried about chipping good dishes. Dishwashers can ruin them, but I no longer have a dishwasher in my 1940’s cottage.


I gave away all the dishes I no longer wanted and started collecting floral china plates when I saw them at flea markets or yard sales. They don’t all match but they blend because of common colour schemes. I eat my meals off of china, even when I am alone. Plastic, ugly or chipped dishes have no place in my kitchen. I love these old items. They make me happy when I wash up after a family meal; I even like how they look piled on the dish rack.


I desired to have a home that is a peaceful haven. I have found when you put love into a room, it responds in kind, with peace and comfort.



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